Abstract: The colloquium poster (P^c) has been found in deep inelastic scattering experiments to consist of a title, an abstract, and a figure which either attempts humor or appears to contain all knowledge. We present evidence that the poster is a kind of trap, in which the interesting-sounding poster describing applications to all of physics instead yields to a monotone delivery of a highly technical talk on computation of 3rd-order Albatross diagrams. This has clear implications for condensed matter and atomic physics, the origin of ultra high-energy cosmic rays, electroweak symmetry breaking, and plasma containment (see figure).